Words can’t really describe how nervous I was about sharing my blog on social media. I probably would never have shared it if it wasn’t for my mother nagging me about it on a daily basis. If you know me at all, you’d know that I’m actually really shy (Fun fact: when I first went to university, most people thought I was a mute). So for me, sharing something like this – a website full of my own thoughts and opinions – is a ridiculously big deal.
After I shared my post on Facebook and Instagram, I didn’t touch my phone for half an hour because I was too scared to look at the responses. Little did I know that my phone was being flooded by messages from friends saying how much they loved it. In that moment, my heart was so overwhelmed by love. It’s safe to say that I am beyond blessed to have the best people in my life.
So in honour of all the fabulous people in my life, my post for today is about being a good friend.
A GOOD FRIEND:
IS PATIENT. There are going to be times when your friend frustrates all of the red blood cells out of you and the word patience makes you want to poke your eyes out. But when your friend is going through an icky time, they’re going to need you to stay strong and stick by their side.
CELEBRATES. This is a biggie. When your friend does well or is particularly happy about something, CONGRATULATE THEM! Tell them you’re proud. Say well done! Celebrate their happiness and achievements. I feel that jealousy can so easily creep out from under the furniture and completely destroy a friendship. If you can’t be happy for your friend, you’re not their friend. Simple as that.
ENCOURAGES. A good friend encourages you to do the things you’re too scared to. As mentioned earlier, if it wasn’t for my mum (and my grandparents sat all the way in South Africa) encouraging me in what I wrote – I would never have had the confidence or self-belief to share it with the rest of the world.
FORGIVES. There’s nothing worse than a grudge. Holding a grudge will only make you (the grudge holder) look stupid. If you can’t forgive the person, don’t be their friend. This counts for relationships too. In order to forgive, you need to put whatever that person has done completely in the past. Don’t bring it up again. Moooooooove on.
UNDERSTANDS. A good friend accepts their friend as they are. Don’t try to change someone. An example of this is my faith. As made pretty clear, I believe in Jesus and attend church. I had friends who unfortunately could not understand this at all and made me feel as small as a tiny little pea. That’s really, really sad. If your friend is doing something you don’t understand/like, drop the sarcastic and patronising comments. Words can hurt.
ADMITS WHEN THEY’RE WRONG. This one is pretty self-explanatory. Everyone argues, it’s inevitable. Just don’t let a petty argument or misunderstanding destroy friendship that could have been beautiful.
HELPS. Okay, this is essential in order for a friendship to blossom. Do little things to make life that teeny, weeny, little bit easier. Look out for them and show you care every now and again. It makes the biggest difference. One of my closest friends, Katie, does this beautifully. When we lived together, if I ever got ill she was my own personal nurse.
JUST IS. Just being present is the best thing you can ever do for a friend who is going through a tough time. Sending a text asking how they are, or sitting with them whilst they’re crying. You don’t need to give advice. You don’t need to buy them anything. Just show them you care and that you’re there for them.