Just over a year ago, my life was a mess. I was unhappy and I was lost. This is a prayer I wrote back in December 2013 (I keep a prayer journal, which I definitely recommend!), when I was suffering from a kidney infection and completely unsure of what I should do with my future. My confidence was at an all time low and let’s just say the flowers weren’t blooming and the sun was definitely not shining…
Tonight I pray that you take hold of my life, every little part. I pray that you protect me. Give me strength and give me patience. Help me to love like you do, not cautiously but extravagantly. I am selfish Lord, and that must stop. Help me to keep my eyes and my heart fixed on you. I pray that you make my heart strong and durable, and I pray that you guide me and show me when to let go.
I pray for my family and my friends. Help me to shine your light and show your love in a beautiful and gracious way.
Keep me loving, always.
Ever since that night my life has changed in countless ways. God picked up every little part, threw out the bad and replaced with the good.
He said no to teaching. He turned me away from a boy who was leading me down the wrong road. He pushed away some bad influences. This was a slow process that hurt a lot. At the time, I was confused as to why things in my life were getting worse! I didn’t understand that He was blocking off roads that would lead me the wrong way. I didn’t realise that He was protecting me.
He surrounded me with love and guidance from my family and friends. He gave me new friends who loved Him as much as I do. He gave me the opportunity to flourish in a new church starting up in Oxford. He taught me how to forgive. He made me realise a hidden passion for writing. He pointed me in this direction. And right now, I’m shining His light and showing His love which you are reading.
There is no denying that my God is good.
If you’re hurting, just pray. Give it to the One who created you. The One who knows you better than you do. He made your heart, so He most definitely knows how to heal it.