I wrote 16 blog posts yesterday – none of which I posted. It was beyond frustrating wanting to say something but the words not forming at all. I’ve never struggled with this but yesterday it hit me with full force.
I kept flicking through my journal notes as I was wondering what I should write about. I tried to write about the day I prayed for my husband, or the verses that helped me get through a particular season, or that time that I did that thing that lead me to another thing. Everything I wrote just wasn’t working out.
It was when I was flicking through my journal for probably the 90th time that God whispered “Mieke, you read your journal more than you read My Journal”. And then I realised something… Throughout my walk with Christ over the past several months, I’ve been clinging on to what He told me last year. I’ve constantly been looking at where I used to be. I noticed that all of my blog posts on faith have been centered around my past. In that moment these words came to mind… Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. I am doing a new thing (Isaiah 43:18).
This whole time my heart had been living in 2014. My faith has been situated in what God did to and through me last year. Which was great, don’t get me wrong. I think it’s important to look back and see how far God has brought you, but you can’t spend your whole life looking through the rear view mirror. You’ll never move forward if you do.
God wants me to shift my focus from what God did with my life in 2014 to what God is going to do in my life in 2015, 2016, 2017 and on and on…
So today I put my journals from the past few years to one side and I opened my Bible. I asked God where to start and He lead me to Job. I was so excited, thinking to myself this is totally the new and improved Mieke. I read Job for a total of 3 minutes before I got a headache and turned to Google, only to find out that God had lead me to “the most misunderstood chapter in the Bible”, also known as “the chapter that is bound to give you a headache”. I spent 5 minutes throwing a mini-tantrum about how unholy and stupid I must be to not understand what in the world was going on with Job. Fortunately, I managed to get over myself pretty fast and after spending a couple of hours reading, re-reading, tearing out a few pages of notes and discussing with my mum, I think I’ve got my head around the message of Job (emphasis on “I think”).
However, the whole point of this blog post is to tell you that I loved it. I loved every second of reading about and studying Him. I think there are a few of you out there too who haven’t truly fallen in love with His Word yet and I pray that somehow this messy blog post inspires you to make it a part of your everyday. Live in His book and see how it changes your relationship with Him (although I advise you not to start with Job… 😉 )